Our time at Children's: West 11

Our time in 1109....Technically....I could say, not much happened and we went home.  

But of course...I'm usually a little more wordy than that...so here we go. 

Baby boy still looked a little like death warmed over...but he was doing great!

Once we got to our new room the nurses and doctors were very anxious to get him to eat something...we ordered him lunch, but had to explain that he had also just eaten all my guacamole.  

Additionally, Oliver was now only hooked up to the pulse ox and his IV...so he had a bit more mobility.  He enjoyed being able to walk to our couch and the chair on his own.  Sometimes you just don't want to be held and even at 17 months you need your personal space!

Oliver also got a water basin bath on the floor of his new room.  Baby boy smelled - BAD!  Like a lot of sweat and...who knows! And...as if Oliver's asthma and ear infections haven't been enough - Oliver also has really bad eczema.  So everything we use is "Fragrance Free".  I mean...I'm sure if I asked they would have had other options...but I didn't think one time would matter...so I used Johnson and Johnson Baby Shampoo for the first time ever.  O went from smelling BAD to smelling wonderful!  --Major Digression.  

All bathed and ready to nap

Andy's mom and step-dad came around 4:00.  It was nice to have some new faces to talk to for awhile!  But Oliver started getting fussy and was ready for another nap.  After nap time was dinner time.  We ordered Oliver some hamburger, some sliced cheese (which was like his favorite thing in the world!!), some peaches, and some other stuff...but, he just wasn't loving eating...argh.  But still...how handsome is my dinner date?

Andy and I...well...we ordered pizza.  Go big or go home - right?

Oliver was EXHAUSTED.  As we were getting Oliver ready for bed we were thinking...what would we do when Oliver went to bed?  But then we realized...we were exhausted...and would just go to bed when he did. I started on the recliner with Oliver and Andy laid on the bed (which we actually pulled out this time...it felt GOOD to stretch out).  

I tried.  Really I tried, but I can't sleep in a recliner.  I loved my cuddle time with Oliver, but I couldn't sleep and I needed to sleep.  I needed to sleep.  I threw Oliver's teddy bear at Andy, trying to wake him up "TOUGH" he yelled at me.  Poor Andy...he was exhausted.  When he finally woke up, he suggested putting Oliver in his crib.  Insert gritting teeth emoji here!  However, Oliver transitioned like a champ to the crib.  We put him on his tummy and he just sort of melted into the crib.  It was so scary walking away from him...I was happy to not be sleeping in the PICU, but I missed my heart rate monitor, breath monitor, and constant nurses. 

Oliver's first check was at 12:48 AM.  He fussed a little - I jumped out of sleep - expecting Oliver to wake up screaming...but he didn't!  I wanted to go to him as I heard him and didn't want him to be scared.  But as the nurses left, and we weren't breathing, we heard Oliver get settled right back to bed!  WHAT?!

The second check was at 4:48 AM.  And we all slept for those 4 hours...like I slept long enough to have weird dreams!  The nurses came in and this time Andy got out of bed to get Oliver to calm down...he never really calmed back down and Andy ended up sleeping with Oliver in the recliner until 8 AM!  8 AM!!  

We ordered Oliver breakfast, had some coffee, and waited for rounds.  There was a strong rumor that we would be going home today.  We need Oliver to eat and drink on his own in order to be discharged.  We also turned down his IV fluids to try and get him to drink on his own.  

We tried to figure our day out, planning on being discharged.  But as the day wore on and Oliver wasn't drinking or eating much (snacking, but not eating), discharge seemed less and less likely.  And I was getting more and more itchy to see Eleanor.  

Oliver was past critical.  I had put all my mommy attention on this guy for so long...and now I needed to be a mommy to my other baby.  We started texting Grandma and Grandpa for an exchange plan.  Besides not eating or drinking, Oliver was in great spirits!  His pulse was down around 120 and his pulse ox was holding steady at 94.  In fact...Oliver was getting a little antsy. 

But then he'd crash....hard....

It seemed as though Oliver had to drink 2 oz on his own before we could talk about discharge.  We started to make our own little plan.  Andy would go home, shower, and get a few more things for another potential night in the hospital.  Grandma and Grandpa would bring Eleanor home and then Andy and Eleanor would come back to the hospital.  One of us would go home with her that night.  Eleanor needed to sleep in her own bed.  

While Andy went home to shower, Oliver napped a little and then woke up hungry.  He ate some stale pancake and I ordered him a snack of sorts.  During this time his IV alarm went off a few times.  Our nurse figured it was because Oliver's IV was in his arm and he was more mobile, causing a kink in the tubing.  She wanted to make sure nothing more serious had happened at the injection site and unwrapped the entire bandage.  "Go Home" I told Andy.  "Nothing will happen while you are gone" I told Andy.  Guh.  Nothing like futzing around with an IV to tick off a toddler!   Oh was Oliver mad!  But the end result was good and the IV site looked good.  

Oliver calmed down and snacked on some Cheerios...He looked so big and grown up sitting in the chair by himself!  He even took a few sips of water all on his own.  Hm...maybe we could go home tonight?

Oliver LOVED the cheese slices we would order for him!  I tried ordering him string cheese...but apparently that's a choking hazard for children under 2...so they wouldn't give it to me...oops!  He ate up 2 slices of cheese!

Andy and Eleanor arrived just after snack time and it was SO good to see her!  She regaled me with her stories from the weekend and was exceptionally chatty.  Her brother was equally excited to see her and wanted to play with some of his new toys she brought right away!

This is the time that Dr. Hahn came in to tell us our plan...We super liked Dr. Hahn.  She even took her mask off once or twice to let Oliver see her face and smile.  I liked Dr. Hahn...I think her name was Dr. Hahn!

Anywho...we had options.  Oliver hadn't drank or eaten as much as anyone would like...however, we still had the option to take him home.  Dr. Hahn felt confident that Oliver would drink better at home.  Andy and I weren't as sure.  It wasn't like Oliver to refuse food or liquids.  If we staid one more night, it was one more round of IV antibiotics.  One more night of fluids.  One more night hooked up to a monitor ensuring us he was breathing, his pulse ox was on target, and his pulse was low.  We went around and around, weighing pros and cons.  And after consulting our medical team, we agreed to keep Oliver one more night.  

Andy would stay with Oliver and Eleanor and I would go home.  Tomorrow morning I would come pick up the boys and we'd all go home.  And never come back.  This decision was not without tears and not without anxiety.  I was never scared to go to Children's Hospital...but I was pretty scared to leave.  

We also decided to just order some quick dinner from BW3s and all eat together before E and I left.  While Andy was gone, Eleanor and I ordered Oliver's dinner.  Eleanor was getting pretty bored and was exhausted after a fun, long weekend with Grandma and Grandpa.  Additionally, while Andy was gone, Oliver's IV alarm went off again.  I unkinked it and paged the nurse.  She reset the alarm and Oliver ate some pizza.  All was well. 

Andy returned from BW3s much longer than we anticipated...but they forgot to give us Ranch dressing!!  So he ran down to the cafeteria to get Ranch. While he was gone...Oliver's IV Alarm went off...again!  Our nurse was less confident that it was just a kink in his tubing and started thinking that maybe, just maybe, Oliver's IV had actual come out.  We couldn't tell if his arm looked swollen...he has such pudgy baby arms anyway!  But I could wrap my fingers around his right arm and couldn't do the same with his left arm.  She brought in another nurse for a consult and they measured his arm.  His left bicep was certainly bigger and they were confident his IV had fallen out...so they needed to stop the fluids and pull out the IV.  

However, I said...I was NOT putting another IV back in.  If we had the option to take him home earlier, than the IV was not necessary and I wasn't going to put him through that again.  Our nurse said it was still a good idea to spend the night...we could still do an antibiotic injection, some nasal suctioning, he'd still be hooked up to all the monitors and we could watch his fluid intake.  OK, plan.  

Wrench.  Another doctor - attending? resident?  I don't know which is which.  Anyway, she came in and told us that without Oliver's IV, insurance would, most likely, not cover another night in the hospital.  Well...this was simple.  We couldn't afford to stay at Children's without insurance - and I stood firm that we were NOT putting another IV in Oliver's teeny, tiny, little veins.  No way. No how.  

Sooooooo....we were getting discharged.  Guh.  We wanted to be putting Oliver to bed...and now we had to wait for one more antibiotic to be ordered. We had to wait for our discharge paperwork.  We had to wait.  This is not how it was supposed to happen.  I was already having anxiety about leaving the safety of the hospital and now it was rushed and not on my timeline.  

Finally we got things settled and while we waited we actually got Oliver to sleep and Eleanor laid on the couch relaxing.  She kept asking us when the last time was that she staid up THAT LATE...and we had to keep telling her it was only 7:30.  Apparently, when you are exhausted...you resort to many selfies on mom's phone!

So finally we were ready.  The nurse came with our last antibiotic dose and we changed Oliver into his clothes.  As we laid him on the crib to change him, Oliver started screaming.  Most times we put him on the crib, it usually resulted in some sort of trauma.  I assured Oliver everything was OK and told him we needed to put his clothes on so we could go home...I said, "Don't you want to go home, Oliver?" and I promise you...he stopped crying.  

Our nurse came in to go over our discharge paperwork.  I was pretty emotional at this time.  We were safe at Children's.  At home...I didn't have everything I would need to take care of him. What if he started breathing fast again?  What if his oxygen dropped? What if his pulse is too high?  How will I know?  What if he doesn't drink?  What if I need to stay up and watch him breathing - counting his breaths?  What if?  What if?  I was petrified.  And they were releasing us into the world.  And Oliver held onto the back of my neck, and Eleanor put her arm around me.  And there were a lot of What Ifs...but I couldn't worry about that right now.  We were getting better - and raising kids is scary.  And there are always What Ifs.  There is fear.  There is uncertainty.  That's how it is for all of us.  Every day.  

The 4 of us walked toward the elevator...I needed one more picture...a farewell to Children's.  And if you look closely at this picture you can see...Oliver is smiling. 

 He was ready to go home.  He wanted to go home.  What a crazy, scary, horrible adventure.While I am so thankful and SO  blessed that we have such an amazing hospital right here in our own backyard...I will be just fine if we never, ever, ever have to go back to that hospital ever again!